Plus Size Bridal Journey - My Love Story
Thanks for being here and going along on this journey with me as a plus size bride! Let me start by saying, I am probably not a typical bride. I haven’t dreamt about my wedding day or dress. For me, this day really felt like it probably wasn’t going to happen, so I never really thought about it. But what I do know is that the bridal industry has left out plus size women, and I want to be here to share my journey to give more representation, and who knows, maybe change the narrative just a bit.
To get started on this journey, I want to start at the beginning with my love story. Buckle up for some cheesiness and reflections. But, I promise, to always be authentic and honest. Why? Because my hope is that maybe a little piece of something will resonate and maybe connect with someone else. So here we go!
Literally, I spent 28 years single. Like not one single boyfriend. I spent those years feeling very broken. You can’t help but feel like the reason no one wants to date you is because of who you are. Of course, as a fat woman, I always blamed my weight and insecurities. If I were only skinny, a guy would like me. It was my deepest insecurity, which in hindsight, definitely kept me from the confidence that would have been a much more attractive quality. Instead of confidence, I lived in a constant state of “working on myself”. This meant one thing - trying to shrink my body. And guess what? That didn’t work. That didn’t miraculously land me the man of my dreams. It didn’t make me feel more confident. Instead, it made me feel the worst loneliness I had ever felt in my life.
I went through cycles about how I felt about myself. Guilt-ridden about if I wasn’t working on my body, then I wasn’t working on finding someone. So, I would go through binge-dating just like I would crash dieting. Giving it a real try with online dating then giving it up all together. It was an emotional rollercoaster. Right before my 28th birthday, I bought my first condo. Something about that gave me a boost to feel like something other than my love life was coming together. I changed my focus to settling into being an adult. When my focus shifted away from freaking out about being single, it helped me just be happy with where I was in life.
That super annoying saying of “when you’re not looking, it’ll happen” turned out to be true for me. While I was focusing on being a new homeowner and just living life, I either let my guard down, or I just didn’t care enough to try being someone other than myself. On my 28th birthday, I went to dinner with some friends. They all chipped in and got me a Crate & Barrel gift card since I got a new place. I was so excited! After dinner, we went to a different bar, and I realized I left my gift card on the table at the restaurant. We went back that night, and when we were checking with the bartender to see if they had it, about that time our waiter came in.
He was so relieved we came back. He had hidden the gift card in his car because several people were trying to take it. He even showed me how he went through some of the receipts from our table and messaged my friends from their signatures to let them know I’d left my gift card. I was so impressed with how above and beyond he went trying to save my gift card and get it back to me. While he had his Facebook pulled up showing me the messages he’d sent to my friends, I had him Facebook friend me.
When I got home that night, I messaged him just to say a huge thank you and that he saved my birthday by getting my gift card back to me. We started chatting back and forth a bit, and he asked me out. That’s right, my waiter from my birthday turned out to be the man I’d marry. After all the years of trying so hard to meet someone, it just happened naturally. It happened fast too. I think it was like our third date that he told me he loved me. I was freaking out! I had never had someone like me, let alone be so into me. I never once, and still don’t, doubted for a moment how much he liked me. It was a whole new thing for me. And now, here we are five years later!
Throughout this plus size bridal journey, I’ll share more little bits and pieces about our relationship. I feel like it’s so important to tell the story of feeling worthy of love because so many fat women struggle with that. I know I did, and I just want to share my story with other women. And, love and the story behind the wedding is so much more important than the wedding itself. For us, celebrating the love we’ve found is absolutely the most important part of getting married, and I can’t wait to share more of our story along the way.
What’s your love story? If you have one, share it with me!